A little of my story of self.
I didn't belong. I didn't fit the molds that others cultivated or expected. My life often has felt like a confluence of paradoxes.
A small girl who loved every sport I could find. A quiet athlete who thrived in roles of directing how the team played. An athlete who went home to devour everything I could learn from encyclopedias, sat in the bleachers before the game doing AP Calculus work, or taking a university engineering exam while teammates relaxed on the beach during tournaments. An engineer who loved to discover how people work. A scientist at heart who integrates faith and science, viewing them as teammates in discovering truth. A believer that there is real truth about God out there AND that every person has worth and has something to teach me. A mom who stayed home with kids and also has real contributions for the world.
I have spent a lifetime learning to weave all these seemingly separate threads of who I am together. For a long time, I tried to keep them separate. My friends and peers seemed to demand that I choose one thread. That I fit into one mold.
Growing up with all these threads and more, I struggled to weave them together because I really just wanted to find my place. As a religious minority that is often ridiculed or rejected, I felt the burden of being the other often. When it came time for college, I decided to seek the "safety" of a university where my faith is the majority. But my arrival didn't make all the threads fall magically into place. I still didn't fit into one mold.
During university, I pushed forward through highs and lows of the weaving my story together. Bright successes and dark threads of depression, short, powerful bursts of progress and long periods where things seemed gray coalesced as I sat in the nursery, holding my oldest son at 3 am, wondering who I was now that I had paused my career. The answer that whispered in my mind was "I am me". All the threads that for years had seemed to compete for prominence in the story of who I am came together. Because I am ALL of those things. I am an athlete, a leader, a nerd, a mom, a scientist, a coach, a child of God and a believer who seeks truth in every person and experience of my life. To take away any of the threads of who I am is to not see all of me.
My personal weaving led me to seek weaving with others. Just as I am so incomplete without all of my current and developing threads, WE are incomplete without each individual I meet. I love to discover what we can co-create together, and that is the foundation of the work I do in all aspects of my life.