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Listener from Los Angeles, CA

I talk about: Community Building, Youth

Orly Israel was a TV producer in Los Angeles dreaming up fictional characters with fictional relationships. Yet he felt isolated and lonely, so he volunteered at a prison to help incarcerated people develop their social skills through conversation. Many there opened their hearts when they felt someone was really listening. One woman shared it was the first time she had ever trusted a man in her life.

Orly decided he wanted to hone his listening skills, so every week he set up a folding table in a different place - a beach, street corner, park, farmer's market - with a sign that said, "Here to listen. No judgment. No advice. No charge." 1500 conversations and three years later, he began sharing what he learned from his Listening Table experiment.

When the 2025 Los Angeles fire destroyed his home, Orly found his years of listening had prepared him for the challenge of helping rebuild community bonds among displaced neighbors. He now creates gathering spaces where people can come together to maintain their traditions and connections.

He helps others learn to use listening to break down barriers, transform relationships in a community, and weather times of crisis. He tells powerful stories of creating healing environments in settings from homeless shelters to prisons, of youth finding their voice, and of strangers becoming friends. He teaches listening workshops at corporations, schools, clubs, and to millions of people through online videos.

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Orly, I was so moved by the account of your Listening Table in the Weave blog today that I just had to leave a comment. But before speaking about the Listening Table, I want to acknowledge the devastating loss of your home in this year's catastrophic fires. I can only imagine how difficult that experience must be for you and the thousands of othersโ€“not to mention those who lost loved ones. My heart goes out to all of you!

I've been a Weaver for a few years, but I have to confess that I only touch base with Weave from time to time because of other obligations. I applaud your courage to 'take a leap' from television work and make yourself vulnerable in order to connect so profoundly with others. Like so many who are involved with Weave, I see this is such a fundamental need at this time. There are so many indications these days (like the recent Surgeon General's report on the epidemic of loneliness) that point to the growing level of disconnection in our culture and its detrimental effects on our health and well-being. This is a phenomena that is increasingly gaining attention not only in the U.S., but many other countries around the world.

From the perspective of an organization I belong to (Sacred Fire), we see this as a 'heart problem'--not so much in terms of the organ that pumps blood, but that aspect of human experience that includes connection, compassion, and warmth (as in 'he/she/they are warm-hearted'). We see that as modern life has become increasingly dominated by the mind, there is less of a balance with heart. And yet it's through the heart that we feel our connection to others (including community) as well as a sense of being connected to the world around us (including nature).

At Sacred Fire, one of the practices that we offer is gathering people around a consecrated fire that is hosted by a trained and initiated Firekeeper. Somewhat similar to the Listening Table, the idea is to create a good opportunityโ€“a 'heart space'โ€“for people to express what is happening in their lives without judgement or advice. As a Firekeeper myself, I findโ€“like youโ€“that people crave to be seen and heard in this way.  The fire deepens the level of connection because we as humans have been sitting around the fire for at least 800,000 years (and perhaps longer). For untold generations, fire was the meeting place for peoples from many cultures around the world. It's not surprising then that even modern people feel some deep resonance to sitting around the fire.

Gosh, I started by acknowledging the terrible loss that you and so many others have incurred because of fire and then I end up by touting the practice of sitting around the fire! Of course fire can be incredibly destructive. And there is so much more that can be said about how when we lose our intimate sense of connection with the natural world (which we really are part of), it becomes easier to pollute, over-consume, and set in motion things like climate change and thus make fire out of control more likely. Big subjects for another day perhaps!

In closing, I want to once again express my gratitude for the simple, and yet profound work that you've been doing to connect with others. Very powerful and inspiring!

Best Wishes,

Lawrence (Larry) Messerman

Lawrence Messerman
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